Losing a best friend is an experience that reshapes life, leaving behind a void that words often fail to fill. For Bree Housley, the untimely passing of her cherished friend, Shelly Bridgewater, from preeclampsia in 2005 became the catalyst for a profound journey of remembrance and healing. Shelly, a vibrant “social butterfly,” left an indelible mark on Bree’s life, inspiring a year-long tribute project and, ultimately, a book titled We Hope You Like this Song. This week marks the launch of this heartfelt memoir, and we had the privilege of speaking with Housley about the inspirations behind her tribute, the power of friendship, and how the Preeclampsia Foundation became a source of solace and purpose.
From New Year’s Jests to a Year of Tributes: The Genesis of a Unique Memorial
The seeds of Housley’s tribute were sown during a casual conversation with friends, amidst the typical New Year’s banter about resolutions. The fleeting nature of these annual promises sparked a thought: what if, instead of grand, unsustainable changes, they focused on small, impactful actions, mirroring Shelly’s spontaneous and vivacious approach to life? This whimsical idea resonated deeply, leading Housley to propose a year-long project to her sister, Courtnee. To her delight, Courtnee embraced the concept, and their “project” – a series of weekly tributes to Shelly’s spirit – was born, documented through a blog.
The blog became an unexpected avenue for emotional release. While Housley had long considered writing about her unique bond with Shelly, the pain of loss had always felt too overwhelming to articulate. The blog, however, provided a gentle space to revisit memories and celebrate Shelly’s influence. It became, as Housley describes, a “happy version of therapy,” a space for healing and finding closure through shared experiences and reflections, without the formality of traditional grief counseling.
Karaoke and Courage: Unveiling Unique Strengths Through Tribute
Among the many experiences during her Shelly-inspired year, karaoke stands out as particularly transformative. Initially terrified, Housley confronted her fear by channeling Shelly’s fearless spirit. Embracing the vulnerability, she found herself belting out a Christmas carol to a crowd of strangers. This act of courage became a powerful metaphor for her journey. It taught her that “living life out loud” – imperfections and all – is far more fulfilling than staying confined to the sidelines. Stepping outside her comfort zone, guided by Shelly’s memory, revealed a newfound extroverted side and unlocked hidden strengths she never knew she possessed.
Creative Contributions: Gifting Back Through the Preeclampsia Foundation
Housley and her sister ingeniously integrated charitable giving into their tribute project. They established a rule: for every resolution they failed to uphold, they would donate $15 to the Preeclampsia Foundation. This playful approach transformed setbacks into opportunities to give back, turning “failures” into small victories for a cause close to their hearts. Donations were easily made through the Preeclampsia Foundation website, streamlining their philanthropic efforts.
Further engaging their audience, they introduced “Audience Suggestion” weeks, inviting people to propose resolutions for a small donation. This interactive element not only raised additional funds but also fostered a sense of community and shared purpose around their tribute. While some suggestions were humorous, the underlying intention remained focused on honoring Shelly’s memory and supporting preeclampsia awareness.
Housley also actively participates in the annual Promise Walk in Davenport, Iowa, an event she enthusiastically recommends to others. These walks, held nationwide, are invaluable for raising awareness and fostering community support. Beyond walks, various local events, such as Zumba classes and scrapbooking gatherings, contribute to the cause. For Housley, the annual Trivia Night organized by Shelly’s family in their hometown of Walcott holds special significance. It’s a cherished tradition that brings together loved ones to celebrate Shelly’s life while supporting the Preeclampsia Foundation, often accompanied by shared laughter and unique local treats like cream-cheese-and-corned-beef-wrapped-pickles.
Unveiling the Unknown: The Urgent Need for Preeclampsia Awareness
Prior to Shelly’s diagnosis, Housley, like many, was unaware of preeclampsia. The term itself sounded alarming, yet initial assurances from doctors minimized its perceived threat. It was only after Shelly’s tragic passing that Housley delved into researching preeclampsia, uncovering the stark reality of its dangers and the widespread lack of public understanding. She was struck by how many people, upon hearing Shelly’s story, shared their own connections to preeclampsia, highlighting its prevalence yet persistent obscurity. This realization fueled her commitment to raising awareness, emphasizing the critical need for education about the signs and risks of preeclampsia to protect other women and families.
An Unspoken Speech: The Enduring Gift of Friendship
Reflecting on her friendship with Shelly, Housley shares a poignant regret: not delivering a speech she had mentally prepared for Shelly’s wedding. In this unvoiced tribute, she intended to express the profound impact Shelly had on shaping her identity. While acknowledging her family’s foundational role, she recognized Shelly’s unique influence, particularly in fostering her confidence and willingness to embrace life’s uncertainties. Despite their diverging paths after college – Shelly embracing a settled life as a teacher and Housley exploring different cities and relationships – their bond remained a constant source of strength.
Shelly’s unwavering belief in Housley, recognizing her as a “big city girl” and expressing pride in her choices, became a powerful affirmation. Housley reflects on the subtle yet immense power of a best friend’s admiration, particularly coming from someone as socially magnetic as Shelly. This acceptance instilled in Housley a sense of inherent worth and capability, empowering her to navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience. The story of Shelly and Bree underscores the immeasurable value of friendship – a truly unique gift that shapes who we are and provides strength in both joy and sorrow. It reminds us to cherish these bonds and express our appreciation for the unique gifts our friends bring to our lives, perhaps even with a heartfelt “I love you, man,” – martinis optional.
