My husband and I recently celebrated a significant milestone – 25 years of marriage. It’s a point where we’ve journeyed together longer than we lived as individuals before finding each other. Reflecting on this journey, especially after being asked to share insights about marriage with a local moms group, prompted me to consider what truly makes a marriage thrive, not just on the wedding day, but for decades to come.
Like many, my path to finding ‘the one’ wasn’t a straight line. My early dating years were filled with uncertainty. I recall wondering if there was someone out there for me at all. Then I met the man who would become my husband, and while it wasn’t a cinematic “love at first sight” moment, it was the beginning of something profoundly important.
They say “when you meet the right person, you’ll just know.” For me, it was more subtle. He was kind, introduced me to new things, and patiently explained concepts I didn’t understand. More importantly, he consistently showed me, in quiet ways, that I was a priority to him. He listened, treated me with a kindness and respect I hadn’t experienced before. These seemingly small gestures were, in fact, monumental.
On our wedding day, surrounded by loved ones, we made our vows. It was a beautiful ceremony, yet a reminder that marriage is more than just a celebration; it’s a commitment grounded in something deeper. The pastor emphasized the words from Mark 10:9, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” It was a powerful moment, underscoring the sacred bond we were entering.
Marriage, as we’ve learned, is a journey through various seasons, a “Domestic Church” where we are called to love through thick and thin, in prosperity and hardship, in health and sickness, until the very end. And beyond just navigating life together, it’s about supporting each other on the path to something even greater.
Elegant wedding gifts symbolize the start of a marriage, but lasting unions are built on the spiritual gifts of love, faith, and commitment.
Beyond Wedding Gifts: The Enduring Gifts for Marriage
Often, when we think of Marriage Gifts, our minds jump to registries filled with toasters, towels, and trinkets. These are the tangible items that mark the start of a life together. However, the truly essential “marriage gifts” are not found in boxes wrapped in paper and bows. They are the intangible, spiritual gifts that sustain and enrich a marriage over the long haul.
These enduring marriage gifts are akin to the Gifts of the Holy Spirit – qualities that empower us to live out our vows with grace and resilience. While wedding presents are appreciated on the day, it’s these spiritual gifts that are unwrapped and utilized daily, becoming the bedrock of a strong and loving partnership.
The Gifts of the Holy Spirit: Essential for a Thriving Marriage
What are these vital “marriage gifts”? They mirror the wisdom we find in the Gifts of the Holy Spirit:
- Wisdom: In marriage, wisdom isn’t just about making smart decisions; it’s about discerning together, understanding each other’s perspectives, and building a shared vision for your life. It’s about seeking a higher understanding in your partnership.
- Understanding: This gift allows you to truly empathize with your spouse, to see beyond words and actions to the heart of what they are feeling and needing. It fosters compassion and deepens connection.
- Right Judgment (or Counsel): Marriage requires navigating countless decisions, big and small. Right judgment, or counsel, helps couples offer each other sound advice, make fair decisions together, and navigate disagreements constructively, always aiming for what’s best for the union.
- Knowledge: This isn’t just intellectual knowledge, but an intimate knowing of your spouse – their strengths, weaknesses, dreams, and fears. It’s about continually learning about each other and growing together in understanding.
- Courage (or Fortitude): Marriage isn’t always easy. Courage provides the strength to persevere through challenges, to have difficult conversations, to forgive, and to continually choose love even when it’s hard.
- Reverence: In the context of marriage, reverence is about holding your spouse in high esteem, respecting their dignity, and appreciating their unique worth. It’s about treating the marital bond as sacred and deserving of honor.
- Wonder & Awe (or Fear of the Lord): This gift encourages us to never take our spouse for granted. It’s about maintaining a sense of awe and wonder at the beautiful mystery of your partner and the life you’ve built together. It inspires gratitude and prevents complacency.
Cultivating Your Marriage Gifts
These spiritual “marriage gifts” aren’t automatically bestowed; they need to be cultivated and nurtured. Just like any relationship, marriage requires intentional effort. This cultivation can be fostered through:
- Prayer and Reflection: Individually and together, seeking spiritual guidance and reflecting on the gifts within your marriage can strengthen your bond.
- Open Communication: Honest and compassionate dialogue allows you to understand each other’s needs and navigate challenges with wisdom and understanding.
- Acts of Service and Kindness: Small, consistent gestures of love and support are daily reminders of reverence and appreciation.
- Forgiveness and Grace: Embracing courage and understanding to forgive each other and offer grace in moments of weakness builds resilience in the marriage.
- Shared Experiences: Continuing to create moments of joy and connection, fostering wonder and awe in your relationship.
Conclusion
While wedding gifts are a lovely tradition to celebrate a new beginning, the true gifts that sustain and enrich a marriage are the spiritual qualities that couples cultivate over time. By embracing these “marriage gifts” – wisdom, understanding, right judgment, knowledge, courage, reverence, and wonder – couples can unwrap the keys to a lasting, loving, and fulfilling union that extends far beyond the wedding day, leading them closer together and, ultimately, towards something greater.
