Dear Reverend,
My partner earns significantly more than I do, and she frequently surprises me with lavish gifts for birthdays and holidays. While I genuinely appreciate her generosity, it makes me uncomfortable knowing I can’t reciprocate in the same financial way. With Valentine’s Day approaching, should I express my feelings to her to perhaps discourage another high-end gift?
Bea Myne (woman, 32)
Dear Bea Myne,
Given that your partner is inclined towards extravagant gift-giving, it’s quite likely she has already begun planning your Valentine’s Day surprise. Attempting to alter her gift-giving habits at this juncture might be a bit late for this particular occasion.
While you certainly could voice your concerns, I suspect her response would be to reassure you that the monetary value of your gifts is irrelevant to her. And in this instance, I would concur. Gift exchanges in a relationship should not be viewed as a financial balancing act.
If your partner loves you and is in a financial position to give generously, it’s plausible that she derives genuine pleasure from doing so. You wouldn’t want to diminish her joy, would you? Instead of feeling inadequate, perhaps shift your focus towards enhancing your gift-giving in ways that are within your financial reach. There’s a wealth of wonderful gifts that carry significant meaning without a hefty price tag.
My preferred category of budget-friendly gifts are those that deliver substantial sentimental value. Consider printing a cherished photograph of the two of you and placing it in an elegant frame. Thrift stores often have a wide selection of frames at very affordable prices. Alternatively, compile a collection of photos into an album or scrapbook – these too can be found inexpensively. Simple and heartfelt.
If you have a penchant for crafts – or even if you don’t – creating something yourself can be incredibly meaningful. The effort and time invested in a handmade gift are truly invaluable. If cooking is your forte, prepare a special dinner for two, paying attention to the ambiance and table setting. Gather popcorn and treats and arrange a cozy movie night in your living room. You understand the concept. It genuinely is the thought that counts.
Interestingly, being on the receiving end of gifts can sometimes be more challenging than giving them. Learning to accept gifts gracefully is a skill that requires practice – and it seems you are in the process of developing it. So, continue your excellent efforts!
Wishing you the best, and God bless,
The Reverend
