Navigating the educational journey of a child is a unique experience for every parent. However, for parents of Gifted Children, this journey often comes with its own set of unique rewards and challenges. It wasn’t until my eldest child started elementary school that the world of giftedness truly opened up, revealing the profound ways it shapes a young child’s learning and development. Like many parents, my husband and I were always in awe of our son’s active mind and boundless energy. His endless curiosity and constant stream of questions kept us both amazed and, admittedly, exhausted. Yet, it was only recently that we began to understand that many of his personality traits – his exceptional memory, heightened alertness, seemingly limitless energy, rapid learning pace, intense focus, insatiable curiosity, impulsive nature, and (much to our parental dismay) a reduced need for sleep – are actually key indicators of giftedness.
This realization, while enlightening, also brought to light the classroom challenges our son faced. Kindergarten became an unexpected learning curve for us, a period of rapid adjustment. Within a few months, it became clear that our son’s learning style diverged significantly from his peers. He needed more than the standard curriculum offered; he thrived on additional challenges to remain engaged and happy in his learning environment. While our local public elementary school boasts a reputable gifted program, known for grouping identified students in specialized classrooms with accelerated and enriched instruction from trained teachers, this program unfortunately only becomes available from the third grade onwards. The past nine months have been a whirlwind of emotions – joy in his discoveries, confusion in navigating the system, worry about his needs being met, sadness at times of frustration, gratitude for small victories, uncertainty about the future, and the constant stress and exhaustion of advocacy. At times, this journey has felt incredibly isolating.
Driven by a need to understand, I immersed myself in books and online resources, seeking to decipher what “gifted” truly means and how the concept of “gifted education” is applied in our society. I discovered that a universally accepted definition of giftedness is elusive. However, organizations like the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) offer valuable insights. NAGC defines gifted adolescents as “those who demonstrate outstanding levels of aptitude (defined as exceptional ability to reason and learn) or competence (documented performance or achievement in the top 10 percent or rarer) in one or more domains.” The Hoagie’s Gifted Education Page further clarifies that gifted children “have different educational needs, thanks to their unique intellectual development.” Echoing this, NAGC emphasizes that these children “need support and guidance to develop socially and emotionally, as well as in their areas of talent.” Sadly, these crucial needs are not always met in typical classroom settings, particularly during a child’s formative early school years. The Davidson Academy, a school dedicated to profoundly gifted students, aptly points out that “Gifted students are among the least understood, under-identified, and underserved population in schools.”
While the wealth of research I explored provided invaluable explanations of gifted children and strategies for nurturing their potential, a significant gap remained. I found myself searching for resources that addressed the parent’s perspective – what it truly means to parent a gifted child, how to process the complex emotions that arise, how to find support, and how to navigate the inevitable highs and lows of this unique parenting journey.
This quest led me to Dr. Gail Post’s insightful book, The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-Discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children. This book stands out by seamlessly blending research and theory with practical parenting strategies, educational options, and a deep understanding of the emotional landscape experienced by parents of gifted children. Dr. Post’s work also incorporates findings from a 2022 survey of over 400 parents of gifted children and concludes with an important call for further research in this area.
Dr. Post and other experts in the field consistently emphasize the critical role of environment and education in shaping the development of gifted children. They highlight that a supportive and challenging environment is paramount for these children to flourish and reach their full potential. As Dr. Post notes, “Gifted children thrive on challenge, the spark of invention, and the joy of progressing quickly—motivating them to persist and delve deeper. This cycle of innate interest, proficiency, and further enrichment through challenging opportunities fuels growth… They suffer when their giftedness is not acknowledged.” Unfortunately, due to their smaller numbers within the general student population, the specific academic needs of gifted students often take a backseat. Dr. Post rightly points out, “All children deserve a challenging education that meets their academic, developmental, and social-emotional needs. Gifted children deserve the same consideration as their neurotypical peers. Unfortunately, the burden of advocacy often falls on parents.”
This reality was not something I had anticipated. In California, where we live, there is no legal definition of “giftedness” at the state level, nor are there state mandates for identification or specialized teacher training. These crucial aspects are left to the discretion of local school districts and charter schools. This decentralized approach results in significant variations in program availability and quality. As mentioned earlier, many elementary schools, including ours, don’t offer dedicated gifted programs until the third or fourth grade, leaving a critical gap in support during the early formative years of schooling.
The implications of neglecting the needs of gifted children are significant. As gifted scholar Tracy Inman cautions, when gifted children are not adequately challenged in school, “They are denied an opportunity to develop a sense of responsibility, decision-making and problem-solving skills, a strong work ethic, the strength to cope with failure, the self-worth derived from accomplishments, and a capacity for sacrifice.” This lack of appropriate challenge can hinder their academic progress and impede the development of essential self-regulation skills. I’ve witnessed firsthand how vital it is for these students to receive supplementary challenges beyond the standard curriculum to maintain their engagement and enthusiasm for learning. Without these challenges, and when early elementary educators lack specific training in gifted education, a gifted child’s inherent emotional intensity and heightened excitability can be misconstrued as signs of immaturity or behavioral issues. This misunderstanding can lead to boredom, frustration, anger, and subsequent acting out, both at home and in the classroom.
Over the past year, I’ve learned the absolute necessity of proactive advocacy for your gifted child. Building a partnership with your child’s teacher and school principal is crucial, as no one else will champion your child’s needs with the same dedication. Seeking out information, support networks, and relevant resources becomes paramount. While this path may not always be easy or comfortable, it is our responsibility to these bright, curious, and unique young minds. It’s common to encounter individuals who may dismiss parental advocacy as being “pushy” or “over-involved.” However, the reality for most parents of gifted children is simply trying to keep pace with their child’s exceptional needs. Becoming a full-time advocate and ambassador for giftedness is often an unexpected role, one that can feel overwhelming, daunting, and all-consuming, adding another layer to the already complex landscape of parenting.
During this demanding time, four key strategies have been particularly helpful for our family. Firstly, educating ourselves about giftedness and effective parenting approaches has been invaluable. Books like The Gifted Parenting Journey, A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children, and Understanding Your Gifted Child From the Inside Out have provided crucial insights and guidance. (I’ve previously shared recommendations for engaging books for young gifted children). Secondly, connecting with other parents of gifted children has been a lifeline. Joining Facebook groups and advocacy organizations at the district or state level has not only provided practical support in advocating for our son but has also significantly reduced feelings of isolation. Thirdly, attending webinars, conferences, and workshops offered by organizations such as the National Association for Gifted Children and Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG) has broadened our understanding and equipped us with valuable tools. Finally, seeking professional support for either your child or yourself is a valuable option. The Davidson Institute offers excellent resources for finding therapists experienced in working with gifted children.
As our son’s kindergarten year draws to a close, we maintain open communication with his teacher and school district personnel regarding strategies to continue enriching his learning experience while keeping him integrated with his age-appropriate peers. I have also initiated conversations with our school principal to understand the school’s historical approaches to accommodating students in similar situations, providing us with a clearer picture of potential pathways for the coming years if we remain enrolled. Simultaneously, we are exploring alternative educational environments in our area, including public charter schools, nature-based schools, project-based learning environments, private schools, and even homeschooling possibilities, to ensure we find the best fit for our son’s unique learning profile. Beyond the formal classroom setting, we remain committed to enriching his learning through weekly visits to the local library, neighborhood parks, museums, and nearby nature centers and trails.
Parenting a gifted child presents a unique and lifelong journey filled with challenges that may not be fully understood by those outside of this experience – including other adults, educators, and even other parents. However, it is also an immense and deeply rewarding blessing. The challenges become more manageable when you recognize the vast network of supportive individuals and resources available to help you champion your child, nurture their potential, and ultimately guide them towards reaching their full and wondrous capabilities.
Editor’s note: This article was also published in “Advance,” a newsletter from the Thomas B. Fordham Institute. “Advance” monitors developments in advanced education (gifted education) in America, including legal and policy changes, emerging research, and grassroots initiatives.
