“The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. The people that believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people that love you simply for being you. The once-in-a-lifetime kind of people.” – Kate Lattey
In the tapestry of life, certain connections stand out, woven with threads of understanding, support, and unwavering affection. These are friendships, and they represent one of the most profound and freely given gifts we can experience. To be a true friend, to offer that invaluable presence in someone’s life, is to bestow a gift that transcends material possessions. When we engage with individuals who genuinely care, who cherish our essence, and who provide a safe space for us to be ourselves, we understand the immeasurable value of friendship. These are the people who reflect our strengths back to us, reminding us of our inherent capabilities and life’s purpose, especially during moments of self-doubt.
Recognizing Individuality: The Heart of Friendship’s Gift
The concept of uniqueness, the beautiful and distinct essence of each individual, became a cornerstone when the Pantarei Approach was developed. This principle profoundly shifted my perspective on the relationships in my life, deepening my appreciation for my friendships. I began to truly see and value what made each friend uniquely them. This curiosity extended beyond the simple bounds of our shared connection. I became fascinated by their inner worlds – how they perceived the world, their motivations, passions, and even their sources of boredom.
Expressing this newfound appreciation to my friends opened my eyes to a surprising truth: many people struggle to recognize their own unique worth. This realization illuminated the most precious gift we can offer one another. It’s not about material wealth or time; it’s about offering simple yet powerful affirmations: “I see you. I am genuinely curious about who you are. I value and love you for it.” This acknowledgment of their individuality is, in essence, friendship’s greatest gift.
Woman smiling with wooden spoon microphone, singing with friend
The Joy of Shared, Unique Moments: Dancing to Our Own Tune
Recently, a dear friend, Rachel, visited me. As we cooked together, the television played softly in the background. Suddenly, a song by a favorite artist filled the room, drawing our undivided attention.
Rachel, holding a wooden spoon, spontaneously began to sing, using the utensil as a microphone. Without hesitation, I joined in. We performed with unrestrained joy, our audience solely ourselves. When the song ended, and our impromptu concert concluded with it, we erupted in laughter, feeling carefree as children. Words weren’t necessary to understand the singular nature of that moment, a shared experience unlikely to ever be replicated. We both recognized having glimpsed a layer of each other’s personalities, a playful, uninhibited side not always readily expressed.
Two women connecting and talking intimately
Acknowledging the Unique Blend: Appreciating the Whole Person
In our next conversation, I shared with Rachel how much I valued her capacity to create a sense of ease and safety while simultaneously being so openly passionate and expressive. I told her how special it felt to know I could be completely myself around her, without fear of judgment.
Connecting this to her profession, I remarked that her ability to foster such trust likely contributed to her excellence as a doctor. “Your patients may not dance with you in front of the TV,” I said with a smile, “but I’m certain they feel comfortable confiding in you, knowing you’ll listen with both expertise and genuine empathy.”
Rachel paused, reflecting on my words. She confessed she had never considered that her ability to embrace simple joys could translate into her professional strengths. Many perceive Rachel as a serious, highly driven individual. Yet, after further contemplation, she recalled instances of patients and their families mentioning how she brought lightness to their hearts, even amidst difficult medical discussions. Our conversation deepened as we explored how our individual traits manifest in diverse ways, depending on the context and situation.
Two people in deep discussion and active listening
Unveiling the Obvious Unseen: The Core of True Understanding
The Pantarei Approach is fundamentally built on recognizing a client’s unique attributes – their skills, qualities, personal history, and individual way of thinking and acting. Practitioners guide clients to discover how to leverage these unique aspects in their daily lives.
The underlying truth is simple: no one is better equipped to navigate life’s challenges than the person experiencing them. Life consistently presents opportunities for us to better understand our own capabilities, intentions, and values.
In a previous article, I explored further how emphasizing our uniqueness can pave the way for a healthier society. Focusing on our inner resources, our inherent strengths, doesn’t negate the existence of difficulties. Embracing the complexity of each other unlocks greater potential for growth, change, transformation, and genuine human connection. This connection, built on appreciation and understanding, truly embodies friendship as the best gift.
Hands gently touching in a supportive manner
Reflecting on Friendship’s Gifts: A Small Exercise
Let’s explore how to actively appreciate friendship as the best gift:
- Consider a Friend: Think of a friend you wish to acknowledge. You might even challenge yourself by considering someone with whom your relationship is currently complex.
- Identify Appreciated Qualities: What do you genuinely appreciate about this friend? Describe their unique qualities, talents, and strengths. Recall specific moments that exemplify these traits.
- Reflect on Impact: Describe how your friend’s uniqueness has enriched your friendship. Note how their individuality is expressed in their life journey.
- Share Your Appreciation: If you feel comfortable, share your reflections with your friend and initiate a conversation about your appreciation for their unique self.
The Enduring Gift of Appreciation
Our willingness to see and celebrate the uniqueness of others is a powerful expression of love and friendship. It’s our way of saying – “I truly see you. I am fascinated by who you are. I value and love you.” By embracing the concept of uniqueness, we not only enrich our friendships but also foster our own personal growth and the growth of those around us. Friendship, in its essence, is a gift that keeps on giving, fostering understanding, appreciation, and a celebration of individuality.
If you are in Berlin this Saturday, you are invited to join Merav Gur Arie in her workshop to delve deeper into the concept of uniqueness. You are also welcome to join my online meeting, where I will share more about the Pantarei Approach training program. Both events are complimentary, and we would be delighted to have you join us in celebrating the power of uniqueness.
Written by Vered Manasse, Co-Founder of the Pantarei Approach
