Watching my children navigate relationships has highlighted a long-standing puzzle: the contrasting ways men and women often approach expressions of care, particularly around holidays like Mother’s Day. Reflecting on past experiences, it’s clear that these differences are not about insensitivity, but rather different wiring. Research suggests men’s brains prioritize problem-solving and linear thinking, while women often excel in multitasking and emotional processing. This distinction plays out intriguingly when it comes to choosing mother’s day gifts.
The Mother’s Day Gift Conundrum: A Male Perspective
Consider the effort men often put into Mother’s Day celebrations. In many communities, men take over typical female roles for a day, allowing women to relax. This thoughtful gesture sets the stage for gift-giving, where the quest for the “perfect” mother’s day gift begins, often fraught with internal debate. Practical gifts like plants are common, symbolizing growth and life, yet they may not suit everyone, especially those without gardens. Cut flowers, a classic choice, are sometimes dismissed as ephemeral luxuries, despite surveys indicating flowers are often a top mother’s day gift desire for women. The Seattle ward’s Cadbury chocolate bar gifts offer a sweet, universally appealing option, though health considerations can complicate even this simple choice.
The presentation of mother’s day gifts adds another layer of complexity. The inclusive approach of honoring all women, not just mothers, is well-intentioned but can create awkwardness, particularly for single women. Furthermore, Mother’s Day can be emotionally charged for many mothers who feel they fall short of societal ideals. It seems the primary male objective on Mother’s Day isn’t necessarily grand gestures of honor, but rather avoiding offense and ensuring no one feels excluded or upset. This approach, while considerate, sometimes misses the mark in truly celebrating motherhood with meaningful mother’s day gifts.
Learning from Father’s Day Simplicity
Contrast this with Father’s Day. In many settings, Father’s Day celebrations are remarkably low-key. The focus shifts from elaborate gifts to simple acknowledgements. The ice cream sandwich tradition, a straightforward and universally enjoyed treat, exemplifies this. There’s no over-analysis of the “Fat Boy” ice cream choice, no searching for hidden meanings – just simple appreciation and enjoyment. Imagine suggesting ice cream sandwiches as mother’s day gifts; the reaction might be quite different, highlighting the nuanced expectations surrounding each holiday.
Bridging the Gap: Understanding and Appreciation in Gift-Giving
Neither approach is inherently superior; they are simply different expressions of appreciation. Just as men and women bring complementary strengths to various aspects of life, their approaches to holidays and mother’s day gifts reflect these differences. The direct, problem-solving approach, while sometimes missing emotional nuances, is valuable. Similarly, women’s strength in emotional intelligence and relationship processing is crucial. Understanding these differences allows for a more balanced and appreciative perspective. When choosing mother’s day gifts, perhaps the key lies in blending these approaches: being thoughtful and considerate of individual needs and preferences, while also offering genuine expressions of love and appreciation that resonate personally. Ultimately, the most cherished mother’s day gifts are those that convey heartfelt gratitude and recognition, regardless of whether they are plants, flowers, chocolates, or even ice cream sandwiches – as long as they are given with love and understanding.
Excerpted from I Hate it When Exercise is the Answer: A Fitness Program for the Soul by Emily Watts; available at Deseret Book.
To find out more about Fat Boy Ice Cream, click here.
