Attending a wedding is a joyous occasion, and along with RSVPing “yes” comes the consideration of wedding gift etiquette. While your presence is undoubtedly valued, it’s customary to celebrate the newlyweds with a thoughtful gift. Navigating the world of wedding gifts can be tricky, especially when trying to determine the appropriate amount to spend. Forget outdated notions of “covering your plate”—modern gifting is about thoughtfulness and your personal circumstances.
To help you confidently choose a wedding gift, we’ve consulted wedding etiquette experts to break down the Average Wedding Gift Amount, offering insights based on your relationship with the couple and other factors to consider.
Decoding the Average Wedding Gift Amount
So, what’s the magic number? Experts generally agree that the average wedding gift amount falls within the $100 to $150 range per person. However, this figure serves as a starting point, and several variables can influence whether you should adjust upwards or downwards. Wedding planner Elizabeth Priya Kumar notes this range as a traditional average, acknowledging variations based on demographics, region, and culture.
Historically, the idea of “paying for your plate” influenced gift-giving. The logic was that a guest’s gift should roughly cover the cost of their meal, which in America could be around that $100-$150 mark for a formal event. However, contemporary etiquette prioritizes gifting within your means. Couples invite you to their wedding to share their joy, not to impose financial strain. Therefore, your relationship with the couple and your own financial situation are paramount when deciding on a gift.
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Wedding Gift Amounts by Relationship: A Helpful Guide
While the $100-$150 average provides a benchmark, your connection to the couple plays a significant role in determining a suitable gift amount. Allison Cullman, a wedding etiquette and registry expert, offers a practical guide based on relationship:
- Coworkers, Distant Relatives, and Casual Acquaintances: A gift in the range of $50 to $70 is generally appropriate. This acknowledges the occasion without requiring a significant financial commitment.
- Friends: For friends, consider gifting between $75 and $100. This reflects a closer relationship and a more substantial gesture of celebration.
- Close Family Members, Best Friends, and Wedding Party: For those nearest and dearest, including close family and members of the wedding party, gifting $100 to $150 or more is customary. Given the depth of these relationships and often the additional expenses for wedding party members, a more generous gift is fitting.
Remember, these are guidelines, not rigid rules. Your personal budget is the ultimate deciding factor. If you are attending with a plus-one, it is customary to double your gift amount to account for the additional guest. Conversely, if you wish to give more generously and your finances allow, exceeding these amounts is always a welcome gesture.
Factoring in Travel Costs for Destination Weddings
Wedding attendance can involve various expenses, particularly if travel is required. Destination weddings or even weddings a few hours away can add up quickly with travel, accommodation, and other related costs. If you’re incurring significant expenses to attend the wedding, especially for a destination celebration, it’s perfectly acceptable to consider these costs when deciding on your gift.
Your presence at a wedding, especially one that requires travel, is a gift in itself. While a gift is still customary, adjusting the amount to reflect your travel expenses is a thoughtful and practical approach.
Wedding Gift Budgeting Strategies
Attending weddings can be costly, but smart budgeting can help manage expenses without compromising your gift-giving etiquette.
Prioritize Affordability
The most important principle is to give within your financial means. Even if traditional etiquette suggests a certain amount, your financial comfort should take precedence. If gifting a single, larger item stretches your budget too thin, consider combining smaller, less expensive items from the registry to create a thoughtful and budget-friendly gift. This approach can also be a great way to provide the couple with practical items they may need but haven’t prioritized, such as kitchen gadgets or home décor essentials.
Remember, the couple values your presence at their wedding. Adjusting your gift to accommodate your budget ensures you can celebrate with them without financial stress. This is especially relevant for those in the wedding party who often have pre-wedding expenses like attire and events.
Gift-Giving Occasions: Know When It Counts
Maximize your wedding gift budget by understanding when gifts are traditionally expected. While wedding and bridal shower gifts are customary, engagement parties generally do not require a gift (a congratulatory card is a kind gesture). Furthermore, if you’ve contributed significantly to the wedding in other ways, such as hosting a shower or providing your professional services, it’s perfectly acceptable to reduce or forgo a wedding gift. Focusing your gift-giving on the expected occasions allows your budget to go further.
Frequently Asked Questions About Wedding Gifts
Is it ever acceptable not to give a wedding gift?
Generally, if you attend the wedding, bringing a gift is expected. However, the form of the gift is flexible. It doesn’t always have to be a physical item. Consider contributing to a honeymoon fund, gifting a sentimental item like a book, or offering a helpful service to the couple on or before their wedding day.
How much should I gift if I cannot attend the wedding?
If you are unable to attend a wedding, a gift is not mandatory. However, close friends or family may still choose to send a small token of congratulations. A gift from the registry or a modest monetary gift of $50 to $100, accompanied by a heartfelt card, is a thoughtful gesture.
Do destination weddings require a gift?
While older etiquette rules sometimes waived gift expectations for destination weddings due to travel costs, modern etiquette has evolved. With travel being common for most weddings today, gifting is still customary. However, it’s acceptable to factor your travel expenses into your gift amount. Give what you can comfortably afford, keeping your travel investment in mind.
