Lehrterstrasse, Berlin
April 1, 1945
My dearest children,
As the end draws near for me, I find myself needing to bid you farewell. Words cannot express how difficult this is, as my love for each of you is boundless. You have been the greatest source of joy in my life, and the thought of not watching you grow into the adults you are destined to become fills me with sorrow. Yet, I have unwavering faith in your mother’s strength and wisdom. With her guidance, and the support of our loving family and friends, I am confident you will navigate the path ahead with grace and resilience.
Life has granted me a wealth of experiences, yet my journey as a father is drawing to a close, preventing me from guiding you through adulthood. It is with this in mind that I pen these thoughts, hoping they will serve as a compass for your future, even if their full meaning unfolds only with time. Consider this letter my Final Gift to you—a collection of heartfelt advice as I take my leave.
Above all, cherish and support your mother. Shower her with the love and trust she deserves, embodying the spirit of chivalry in your care for her. As long as she graces your lives, make her happiness a priority. This duty extends beyond your childhood; it is my deepest wish that you remain as devoted to her in your hearts as I have been to my own parents. True understanding of your parents often blossoms as you mature yourselves. Despite the hardships of recent months, they have also been illuminated by moments of profound clarity, centered on what truly matters, and sustained by your mother’s unwavering love and inner fortitude. You will, in time, understand the depth of these words.
Nurture your bond as siblings; strive to grow even closer. I recognize that your distinct personalities may sometimes lead to friction, but as you mature, these very differences will enrich your relationships, allowing you to offer each other a more complete support system. Occasional disagreements are natural, but harboring resentment is not. Should you find yourselves at odds, remember me, and be swift to extend forgiveness. Support each other in every way you can. If one of you is burdened by sadness or a difficult mood, reach out, offer comfort, until joy returns to their spirit. Resist drifting apart; instead, cultivate the connections that unite you. Share laughter, songs, and dances, as we have so often done as a family. When forming friendships, seek to include your siblings, where possible. This can strengthen friendships and deepen your familial ties.
On my right hand, I wear the ring symbolizing my sacred bond with your mother – a union that has brought immeasurable happiness to my life. It signifies my belonging to her, and to all of you. The ring on my left hand, bearing our family crest, is a reminder of our lineage, a connection to ancestors past and descendants yet to come. This ring whispers: Heed the lessons of the past. Resist the allure of vanity and the fleeting nature of the present. Remain true to the virtues of our family, and pass them on to future generations.
A vintage photograph from circa 1930 capturing Klaus Bonhoeffer and Emmi Delbrück, highlighting family heritage and historical context.
Regarding those you encounter in life: accept them for who they are. Resist the urge to judge based on first impressions or what seems unfamiliar. Seek out the good in every individual. This approach is not only just but will also shield you from narrow-mindedness. Consider a garden, vibrant with diverse blooms. Tulips captivate with their beauty yet lack fragrance, while roses, though thorny, possess exquisite scent. Seek the hidden sprout of green, for often, the most beautiful qualities in others lie beneath the surface, waiting to be discovered through empathy and understanding – by walking in their shoes.
Those consumed by self-interest will remain blind to these hidden virtues. But believe me, my dear children, life’s true richness, in both grand gestures and small moments, will only reveal itself when you shift your focus from yourselves to others, truly experiencing their lives alongside your own. The musician fixated solely on their own part, deaf to the orchestra, will never grasp the symphony’s grandeur. Conversely, one who embraces a larger purpose listens not only to their instrument but to the harmony of fellow musicians. Living with such expansive awareness will fill your spirit with depth and resonance.
This extends beyond mere reactive help in times of need, though such acts are undoubtedly valuable. The person who approaches life with gratitude for all it offers often contributes more profoundly. Treat others with fairness and engage in their lives with genuine goodwill. Never be one to dampen the spirits of others. Cultivate the grace that arises from such interactions, a politeness that wins hearts. Navigating relationships with those in power and influence, without sacrificing your inner freedom, requires discernment, but it is also an art of the heart that can bring about significant positive change.
Worldly wisdom should not be dismissed lightly. However, if sophistication is not your natural inclination, err on the side of impartiality. You have ample time to ponder these matters. It is only because my time is short that I share these reflections now, considering them a crucial part of my final gift to you.
I pray that life grants each of you sufficient time and peace to nurture your intellect, according to your unique nature, and to pursue knowledge relentlessly. May you discover the enduring joy of lifelong learning. Remember, true value in education lies not in social advancement, but in the inner freedom and dignity it cultivates. Education broadens your horizons, both temporally and spatially. Engaging with greatness and nobility refines judgment, elevates emotions, and sharpens your sense of integrity. It ignites an inner fire that transcends the mundane and burns eternally. This inner fire will make you sovereign in your own lives. But remember, true sovereignty begins with self-mastery. Harness this power to cultivate your talents, transforming them into skills and capabilities. Then, if fate is kind, you will be remembered not just for your achievements, but for the person you become.
Another wish I hold for you: in your youth, explore the world. Hike through landscapes, absorb all you can, fully immerse yourselves in your surroundings. Walking clears the mind, allowing you to truly perceive a landscape, to yield to the impressions it offers – whether of people, quaint villages, or majestic cities. Like singing, hiking allows the mind to wander into beautiful reveries – the kind that mysteriously awaken the spirit of a place. And then, turn your gaze southward. Our strength and destiny lie also in the unfulfilled longing for sunlit clarity, for warmth and openness.
The era you are inheriting – this age of horror, death, and destruction – has starkly revealed the ephemeral nature of all earthly things: the glory of humanity, fleeting as wildflowers. In this awareness, we are compelled to live with a deeper understanding of life’s transience. But this turning away from the transient, towards the eternal, is the very genesis of wisdom. This is the paradoxical blessing of these dark times—a profound final gift from a world in turmoil.
Yet, do not succumb to mere piety when confronted by the world’s chaos. Instead, let these challenges deepen and strengthen your faith. Do not linger in the shadows of doubt, but strive for clarity – while remaining gentle, and respecting the sacred and unknowable. Seek to understand the Bible deeply; and then, embrace this world, knowing that only what you have personally experienced and honestly acquired holds true validity.
May God be with you, always.
With enduring love and affection,
Your Father.
Translated by Chris Zimmerman from Eberhard and Renate Bethge, eds. Letzte Briefe im Widerstand (Munich: Kaiser Verlag, 1984), 53-36.
