Looking for Funny Birthday Gifts can sometimes lead to unexpected adventures, but nothing quite prepared me for the comedic saga that unfolded when I tried to ship a basketball as a birthday present. It all started innocently enough at Dick’s Sporting Goods. I picked up a basketball and some shorts, envisioning the perfect gift for an 18-year-old. The next step was finding a box.
At another store, faced with a couple of box size options, I realized I was utterly clueless about basketball dimensions in inches. In a moment of what I thought was efficiency, I texted Jerry: “Would a 15x15x16 box be big enough?”. Jerry, bless his heart, replied with an optimistic “yes, pretty sure!”. Box purchased. Problem solved, or so I thought.
Back home, assembling the box in anticipation of shipping, I was met with a stark and hilarious reality. The box was…enormous. My guesstimate had been catastrophically off. A 15x15x16 box wasn’t just big; it was comically oversized for a single basketball and a pair of shorts.
Shipping a half-empty, gargantuan box felt wrong. Who wants a funny birthday gift arriving in packaging that screams “overkill”? So, the search for a more appropriately sized box began. However, with limited outings due to COVID, box procurement became a minor quest. Luckily, Amazon to the rescue! A perfectly sized box arrived with our next delivery, solving the packaging puzzle.
Finally, on Wednesday, the gift was ready to ship. Procrastination almost won, as the post office felt miles away. But with the looming holiday weekend, Wednesday was the shipping deadline. Enter Noah, stage left, bribed with a crisp $5 bill to handle the postal run. This was also a stealth mission to give him some independent errand experience. “Ship it cheapest way possible,” I instructed, estimating around $20 for postage – a bit steep, but hey, funny birthday gifts are worth it, right?
Noah returned, receipt in hand. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. $43.55! For a box under 3 pounds, heading to the west coast, not another continent! Mistake! It had to be a mistake. Then, I saw it: $35.20 for “Sesame Street.” Sesame Street? Had they upsold Noah on some novelty stamps? Noah was as perplexed as I was. No Sesame Street stamps were offered, he confirmed.
The receipt was a cryptic puzzle: $43.55 minus $34.80, totaling $8.75 for the package postage, plus a random charge for “4 Sesame Street items” at $8.80 each. Armed with the receipt and brewing indignation, I was ready to march to the post office, demanding answers and a refund for the phantom Sesame Street charges. But, a sliver of doubt (and perhaps a fear of postal service embarrassment) led me to online fact-checking first.
Thank goodness for Google. The USPS online postage calculator confirmed the unbelievable: $43.55 was indeed the correct shipping cost for the box dimensions and weight. Shipping prices had apparently skyrocketed into the stratosphere. The “Sesame Street” charge, however, remained a mystery. I rationalized that maybe the postal worker had some convoluted way of itemizing the postage, and the Sesame Street line was just some bizarre internal code.
The sheer cost was staggering. The funny birthday gifts themselves – basketball and shorts – cost around $70 after tax. Shipping was nearly $45! Suddenly, a gift card for $100 seemed like the fiscally responsible, albeit less fun, option. But, the package was sent, the deed was done. Mental note: explore UPS, FedEx, carrier pigeons – anything but USPS in the future.
Then, today, the mystery of the Sesame Street charge was gloriously, hilariously solved. A photo arrived from the recipient. The box had landed. And it was…covered. In. Sesame. Street. Stamps.
Laughter erupted. The recipient initially thought they were stickers, some eccentric decorative choice for an 18-year-old’s funny birthday gift. Then, the stamp realization dawned. The post office, in their infinite wisdom (or perhaps just a surplus of Sesame Street stamps), had decided to use books of Sesame Street stamps to cover the exorbitant shipping cost. Noah, Jerry, and I were in stitches. The Sesame Street mystery was solved, transforming a shipping mishap into a truly funny birthday gift story. And honestly, who needs wrapping paper when you have Elmo and Cookie Monster delivering your birthday cheer?
